× Sometimes we just have to understand our emotions, with a stronger heart. And conquer it. ×
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Wednesday, February 15, 2006 //10:39 AM
i wonder is there anyone still reading and at least bother abit abt my life. ha. anyway stop working for this week. was told that our line and the only line that will have this so called break.. perharps we had been sacked already.. kinda sad but guess it doesnt affect us much.. we are going to quit soon anyway.. been working and its tiring.. been falling aslp every now and then when i have the chance to sit down and not doing anything.. i can even stand and doze off for awhile when im standing during work.. been thinking quite alot lately.. well, father isnt feeling too well.. just discharged from the hospital.. but din manage to visit him at all. been working. felt guilty. recieved msg and calls from frens. didnt know what to reply them when asked abt result.. kinda shocked too when recieved the sms from my sis of the result.. i admit i din put in much effort on sci.. but i can swear that its the first time i have done so much maths during that period.. ao much effort put in.. and i thought i wil do well.. buttt.. it makes me lose confident in studying anymore.. even thought of not continuing to study.. anyway i got the same result as last year.. still a fail in sci.. so you can say im just wasting that one whole year.. tml will be the last day of choosing the courses. i didnt know what to choose yet. RP, TP or SP will be my choice. but SP doesnt give me a better way in the courses. will seee. told my mother and she say RP gd. coz nearer. hah. and even better she said if cant study then nvm. go out work. i kept quiet. didnt know whether to laugh or to cry.. realised that friends doesnt stay. seriously nothing will last forever. but i still hope it isnt true. things hasnt been great recently. strange things been happening till i didnt know the reason why. it hurts but i cant do anything. i have tried what i can do.. but what did i get in the end.. perhaprs its me or maybe its you. the care the times i know cant be back. i hope i noe the reason why before everything really fade away. coz i didnt wan history to repeat itself. i treasure this much much more than the others. and therefore too much thinking and pain.. i know no matter how much tears is shed. it still will not change. wanted much to talk to you but i dosent want another quarrel. it really hurts me lots and lots for things to turn out this way now. everything of i thought. the past the promises we used to have. say me stubborn. but the only one i trusted so much. yet things becoming like this. i can only blame myself. maybe im numb towards things. because i must learn. and its because thats how life work. |
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