× Sometimes we just have to understand our emotions, with a stronger heart. And conquer it. ×
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Tuesday, March 14, 2006 //12:43 AM
just finished watching css result. omg, cant imagine i drop my tears when khim and yuyang is out. though they are not the best. but they cant be the one who will be out this week, khim powerful voice. aww. goana miss their performance. i felt so so bad and guilty when my bro is sick and trying to talk nicely to me. yet im showing him the attitude. when my sis wanted to use the comp just for a while and ask for that little help, i talked abit louder than usual to her. when my mum and father tried talking to me. my attitude sucks. =( im so sorry. i knew that something happen to my sis, or perharps i thought i knew. but she doesnt tell anyone of us. we dont talk about our life. seeing her change and keeping everything to herself hurts me. dont know why, i dont wish to see her like that. i felt so useless as a sis not been able to do anything. now im sitting infront of this comp, so numb. everyone's gone to slp. i wish i wasnt like this earlier. what's happening to me. suck suck and suck! i wish i knew the answer. sometimes i just dont even know who i am anymore. i hate this. just go away will you. i regret for things that i done before. i dont mean to. but.. what's done had been done. sighh. i wonder will i get used to school environment. everyday need to attend school. i've gotten used to the life of slacking at home. and quitting things when i get tired of it. but school is so much more different. i wanted so much to prove to people that i can do it, so what if i retook my o level. so what if i gotten back the same result. i know that i had tried my best. but somehow, maybe its just fate that decide everything. nah, excuses. im goana try very hard for the first yr in poly. when everything is new. im going to change to a business course. i hope i do.. sometimes its just so disheartening to hear from people keep asking you about your result when you already did so badly. i dont mind saying it to you if you really care. but some who are just out there trying to act as if they care, yet inside. you wont know what they are thinking. been working and changing different work environment, makes me see the many different side of people. seriously you wont know what they are up to next. some are just so selfish who only care about him/herself. i met one whom i thought is just a simple girl. who is helpful and kind. but as time goes by, i saw the ugly side of her. she does things that's good for herself only. she can even lie at things which is obviously so not true. she's the first and last one that make me cry during work in my previous job. >.< so long since i wrote such a long post. alright. im in the mood in blogging today. hmm, so i just spent my day today watching fd and the maid. the maid is so er xin lah. everywhere also got ghost scaring people. and fd. dont really rem what happen le. keep having distraction when im watching. maybe that explain my irritation. blahhh. oh this skin, just change it for fun. might be changing it soon again. haha. ok, its getting late huh. soo. bye. |
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